I’ve been ultra-cautious with SARS-CoV-2 floating around* not because I’m a timid little mouse, but because I’ve already had experience of having my life ripped up in the aftermath of infections for months and months and months. Lockdown? It went on for what, seven weeks and then was lifted a bit and now everyone is now customising the rules – or laws, it’s hard to tell anymore – to suit.

Life has risk, we all take risks, weighing up when to cross the road or happily catching the night bus (as I frequently used to). Why is this any different? It’s at my own risk. No such thing in a pandemic though is there? Your risk is my risk is my granny’s risk is my 44-year old friend-having-chemo-to-survive-cancer’s risk. It’s the cleaner in the ICU’s risk. This is the problem. Actually, it’s not only that. Leaving aside the pond-slime who post that it’s ‘only fatties’ and ‘underlying health problems’ who die, it’s clear that most people don’t grasp that this is a novel virus that can do more than kill you, even though it is slowly trickling out that there can be long-term post viral health problems from Covid 19. The type of problems that disable you and don’t care if you’re in your twenties, or the most self-importantly elite of professionals, or have a PhD to write up (me).  In my experience these are exactly the people who seem to have some sort of fantasy about what being chronically ill is like. That they can sort of write their own rules. That it couldn’t happen to them, that they’re too busy. Or have responsibilities. So they just can’t be ill. Push on through. Mind over matter.

That’s faulty thinking (for the CBT crowd at the back). If you get a virus like SARS-CoV-2 (or many others though the risk is greater with SARS-CoV-2) even quite mildly, there are a good number of people who simply don’t recover. Whose life is put on lockdown, house or bed-bound and they are effectively expected to put up with it, because there are minimally effective treatments and no cures.  Even if you escape organ damage (lung, heart, kidney, brain common) there are other sequelae. There are various not very good names and diagnoses – post viral fatigue syndrome, chronic fatigue syndrome, and myalgic encephalitis for what amounts to a set of core, disabling symptoms. You might recover, particularly if (like me) you are lucky enough to have an early diagnosis and the financial and practical support so you can rest as much as you need to and pace out the tiny amounts of activity that you can still do. Most people improve a bit. Some people get entirely better (fingers crossed). Many don’t improve at all. That’s a long-term lockdown that you cannot customise to suit.

So choose your risks carefully. It’s not like crossing the road where you keep on crossing roads and unless you’re really unlucky you learn that it’s a pretty safe thing to do. The risks of catching covid 19 from ignoring the public health rules are much higher. It’s more like a dice roll. Keep rolling and your number will come up. But eventually the pandemic will be over, even if it’s a year or more away. Choose that life.

* yes, it seems increasingly clear that does float around, just like my microbiologist dad said as well as every credible scientific paper this nerd read. It is transmitted within tiny aerosolised droplets that hang about for at least a few hours in the air, so if someone in the pub restaurant office gym lecture-theatre room with you is puffing them out every time they breathe, the concentration of droplets and virus is continually increasing. Good luck.